In Wake of the Orlando Shooting: Dear Islamic State

Dearest Islamic State, 

I am sad. I am deeply and horribly sad. 

I cannot empathize with you, nor can I say that I can see justifications in your actions through your eyes. You speak of a God who has brought nothing but hurt and fear to the world. But to me, this isn't and cannot be a God. Instead, I see it as it truly is: a horrible teaching that has brainwashed your entire community. You think that your actions are going to bring you eternal glory, you are horribly wrong. There is not a heaven waiting for anyone who murders innocent citizens. There is not a heaven for those who bomb countries and promote fear. There is no heaven for you. None. 

You have hurt America and you have hurt me. America is a country with cuts and bruises, but we are strong. We have each other's back. Trying to tear us about by killing our people does not work. With each death you bring, our bonds grow tighter. America grows closer. Our military grows stronger. 

We do not fear you. We hate you and everything that you stand for. We mourn for those who have been lost and brace ourselves for the future. We are not afraid. Love and light always win.

The LGBT community did not deserve the pain and fear you have brought to it's community last evening. Those people you killed have daughters, sons, brothers, and partners that now mourn them because of your selfishness and stupidity. Those lost will never come home to their family, not celebrate another birthday, Christmas, or New Year. You have taken bright, beautiful souls from the world and tried to replace them with hatred. How dare you to think you have the right to kill my brothers and sisters.

I want to yell and scream at you. I want to make your pay for those you have hurt. I want to kill every member of your community, but I know that would only make me as foul as you are. Look at yourselves and the destruction you have caused to the world. You've tried to destroy every kind hearted bit of humanity, but you continue to fail. From the ashes and pain, good prevails. 

America does not fear you. We will stand tall and defend our country.

Sincerely, 

An American 

Radha Beauty + Skincare Haul

Hello, everyone!

     Radha Beauty had kindly sent me a few of their lovely products for me to review and give you all my honest feedback. I'm so grateful for this opportunity and cannot wait to share these skincare products with you all!

     The first product is Radha's Vitamin C Serum from their skincare+ line. This serum claims to give radiant and youthful skin by neutralizing free radicals and stimulating collagen while reducing fine lines.  That's a lot to promise in a one ounce bottle.

     I personally still have youthful skin (is that rude to say?) so, I didn't need the help with neutralizing my free radicals or collagen stimulating, but I did feel the extra nutrients seep into my  skin than a normal moisturizer. As this is my first higher end serum, I feel like it has done a decent job to earn a steady spot in my skincare routine. I see an obvious brightening and moisturizing from the Radha's Vitamin C Serum and I am happy with the results!

Buy Vitamin C Serum Here

     The next product was actually a bonus product for me and it was the Miracle by Radha Beauty's Retinol Moisturizer from their skincare+ line. This moisturizer promotes natural cell turnover and improves skin's texture.

    I am very finicky when it comes to moisturizers as I have semi-oily skin and a lot of moisturizers tend to make my skin either: a. get so oily that it breaks my skin out, b. be so think my skin cannot breathe, or c. too light and doesn't moisturize. Thankfully, I am here to say that this product does wonders for moisturizing my finicky skin and making the winter a lot less painful.

Buy Retinol Moisturizer Here

     Onto the Radha Beauty's Fractionated Coconut Oil! Okay, that was supposed to be exciting, but it sounds kinda gross... Fractionated oils.  This product, though, isn't gross! 

     I am so thankful that this coconut oil doesn't go back to a solid state, but stays it's clear, liquid amazingness. This oil is not to be consumed, but can be used in a bunch of other ways. My friend Austen did end up putting it in his coffee, and I think no harm came to him, but like, don't drink it, okay? THIS DOES NOT GO IN YOUR MOUTH. 

     Instead of consuming this oil, I've been using it as a hair mask and body moisturizer, especially with my new tattoo. It soaks nicely into your skin and strengthens your hair wonderfully! 

Buy Fractionated Coconut Oil Here

    And for our final product of this haul: Radha Argan Oil from the skincare+ line. This is my favorite product of the bunch. Let me tell you something... THIS PRODUCT IS MAGIC. 

     I have more than a handful of split ends and this oil helps seal and protect them greater than any other oil I've used before. I love that it's certified organic, too. 

Buy Argan Oil Here

Thank you, Radha Beauty, for having me review your products and I can't wait to see what you all do next! 

Powered by BrandBacker. 

   

TBT: Justin and The Horrible Levitation Photo

     I've tried a million times to write this post (more like 10 or so), and every time I just quit. It's funny, because quitting is the last thing that one person taught me to do. So, I'm going to just trudge on and write this damn thing (maybe just because I have have pizza and wine at 1 am to entice me to finish).

     OKAY. LET'S GO.  THE STORY OF ME STARTING PHOTOGRAPHY. ONWARD.

     Freshman year of college is difficult for everyone, but for me, it was a DISASTER. I thought the best option for me was to not stay at my college's dorms and instead drive 45 minutes each way to school every single day. God, if I could only go back and shake some sense into my little brain.              
     Anyways, I was stressed from the two hours of sleep I was loosing each day from my long haul to school and college itself was taking a toll on my freshman brain. My hair was falling out, I had started a new job that was way over my head, and philosophy was straight up kicking my butt. I was feeling so overwhelmed and lost... until an old friend of mine, named Rachel, showed me a Facebook page after one of my brother's high school football games.

    This Facebook page was called "Ruthie's Magical Camera," and with it, I was introduced into an entire new world of photography. I had never heard of "Fine Art" or "Conceptual" photography before, and as a newly blossoming photographer, I was hooked. I didn't understand how someone could be floating in the air or be made of a drawing.

Ruthie's Magical Camera

Ruthie's Magical Camera

Her photography opened me up to an entire new world, and I don't say that lightly. My imagination started racing as I looked through her photos and onto the pages she had liked.
   
   And then, by some grace of God, I was lead to Joel Robison Photography. If you have not checked out this amazing artist, I beg you to go take a look at his work. I clicked through his many images on his page and sat with my jaw dropped down to the floor. I cannot even put into words how unbelievably creative his work is. He was then, and still is, on of my favorite artists. Now, I'm so glad to be able to call him a friend and undoubtably one of the best teacher's I've ever had.

Joel Robison Photography

Joel Robison Photography

          At this point, I was 100% obsessed with Joel's work. After searching through his photos, I saw a photo of a boy with a red airplane. I cannot remember why, but I clicked on this model's name and went to his photography page.

Joel Robison Photography

    
    Justin Kuder Photography. I thought he was just as fantastic as Joel! I mean, this kid had photos of him pretending to be Harry Potter (which I can't seem to find now... JUSTIN! WHERE DID THEY GO!?), lightening coming out of nowhere, and bunches of butterflies. What more could I ask for? 

Justin Kuder Photography

Justin Kuder Photography

    If God had lead me to Joel, I don't know who lead me to Justin, but I'm constantly thankful for them. I noticed that Justin lived less than an hour from me, so I took the chance and found his personal profile and tried to add him as a friend... And he accepted. 

     

    Someone needs to give this man a medal because he dealt with every question I had about photography and was never once rude. I asked him about Joel, The Wild Ones, how to use a camera, photoshop and more... all within the first evening. Poor guy. I bet he thought I was crazy. 

    Right after talking to Justin, I was inspired to try and create my first ever conceptual photo, which is where I intended this blog post to start, but I didn't realize the whole backstory was relevant.

     I had the wonderful idea to have my friend Rachel, who showed me Ruth's work in the first place, be my first model for my first conceptual shot. We woke up early. We did hair and makeup. We were ready before dawn. Everything was set... and I had no idea what I was doing. I thought maybe levitation would be cool, because I had seen other photographers do some cool stuff with that. So, yeah, levitation it was! 

     I took only about 40 shots because I was so nervous to be working with a model. I hadn't really ever done that before, or even worked with such an abstract idea before. Even though this was one of my friends, it still was horribly unfamiliar. Honestly, I felt like a freak, but I still had fun early that Saturday morning, nonetheless. 

    After falling back asleep for far to many hours, I made my journey up to SIUE (college of the time) to edit the photos from earlier that morning. I was so freaking excited to sit down on photoshop and edit this photo! Levitation was going to be easy, right!? I mean, I just had to somehow edit her to be flying... without taking a picture of her jumping... without taking a basic background shot... without any knowledge of photoshop whatsoever... Easy, right?! 

     OR NOT! I sat at that dang desktop for about two hours with absolute no clue how to work Photoshop. Let me put this into a basic terms: I didn't know what a layer was. The most basic of elements of Photoshop was beyond me. I tried watching YouTube videos and reading blog posts, but I was at my wits end. 
     
     It had been six hours. I'd restarted that photo at least 15 different times, and I was determined to finish it, no matter how long it took. 

    At this point, I'd be texting Justin question after question, and though he was helping me the best he could, I just wasn't getting it. So, frustrated and crying, I gave him a call. It was the first time we had talked on the phone and I was a complete blubbering mess. I tried to explain that the stamp tool just wasn't working and that I didn't know how to go backwards and all the things that could possibly happen to a Photoshop newbie were happening. 

     He tried to calm me down, though I could tell he thought I was completely crazy, and told me to not quit, keep trying. He was probably just mumbling whatever he could to get me off the phone, and by the time I hung up, I was even more determined to create a final result I could be somewhat proud of. 

     Three hours later, two cups of coffee, and the greatest back ache in history, I was finished. I had made this... 

     I entitled it "Barely Breathing" for some unknown reason and posted it to my Facebook page as proud as I could be. I had created a conceptual photo! I was great! WOOHOO! 

     Looking back now, I see all the many flaws. The coloring's off, you can obviously see where I clone stamped, black was painted over the trees, and for the love of Pete, look at the cut out of her toes... but, none of that really matters. 

     When I show this to people now, I laugh and think, "Oh, God. How could I have created this?!". I personally hate everything about it, but that doesn't matter either. 

      Without this photo, and all the people who lead me to it, I would be no where near the person I am today. Yeah, cheesy, I know, but altogether too true. That's what matters. This photo was the key factor leading me to me. 

     I'm known as a photographer now, which scares the living shit out of me, but gives me a sense of pride. I'm often told by people I haven't talked to in years how great my photography is, and even strangers have found my page asking for photos. I'm not boasting, I'm just saying that this is what my life has come to... and I couldn't be happier. 

     So, thank you to all who helped with the creation of "Barely Breathing" (WHAT IS THAT NAME ANYWAYS?!). Without you, I wouldn't have found my passion. You've made my life brighter. Thank you. 

      To Ruthie, 
     Thanks for becoming an amazing friend. I always cherish the times we get together to do crazy shoots, and I'm so glad to have someone just as creative as me to bounce ideas off of. You have stayed an amazing inspiration for the last year, and I can't wait to see what you create next. 

     To Joel, 
     I just WANNA SQUEEZE YOU IN A BIG HUG AND TELL YOU YOU'RE THE BEST! I've come to you the last few months with everything ranging from personal issues to needed photoshop brushes, and you've lent me your wonderful advice willingly. Your work is not only an inspiration to me, but to 180,000 others, and I'm honored that we call each other friends. I had the greatest of times with you at The Wild Ones this summer (you know a blog post is coming soon!). You're a bright shining light in the midst of this mundane world. Keep shining, Joel. I need that light! 

     To Justin, 
     Good god. How have you become one of my closest friends?! From the starting point to where we are now? You're perfection. I can't wait to come visit you in Florida in 49 FREAKING DAYS! We're going to show Florida what us Southern Illinois photographers can do! Thanks for being a great friend and things. Yeah, that. 

     This post doesn't quite end yet, just like my story doesn't end here. I have so much to talk about, because I'm too excited about life and photography, but I will finish off a new photo. It's entitled "Take Flight," and I'm proud to say that my levitation photos have increased in quality just a bit. 

     

     Thank you to everyone reading this message. I might have just started photography a year ago, but I'm really proud of the improvement I have had in this year. I can't wait to see where I go in the future. 

-Abbie

<3

That List

     So, it just hit one in the morning, and I should be getting to sleep. Instead, as usual, my mind won't shut up with the lists of things I should be doing, the photos I should be creating, and problems I cannot, in fact, fix at one in the morning. But, the moon is up, and as seems my curse, so am I.
     I used to hate lists, and the bane of my existence was (and still is) "New Years Resolutions." I don't understand how how people think the change of date means something so grand that it could change your life. I like the idea of change and changing things, but I'm not going to base my self changing around a calendar. Now that I put it that way, it seems silly that I ever did. But seasons? Now that's a whole different subject. I will follow mother nature.
    The point I'm trying to make here is that I'm ready for change, and as the leaves fall off the trees and the weather turns cold, I want to change as Summer changes into Autumn. I want to shake the dead leaves out of my mind and make way for the crisp, cool Fall air and plenty of apple cider. I want change.
    So, I'm going to make a list. Maybe not of things to change, par se, but a list of things I can accomplish with some change. It'll be a list of goals.

That List:

1. Make it into a publication of any kind (magazine, gallery, blog, etc).

2. Meet more photographers.

3. Befriend said photographers

4. 25 shoots before Christmas. Not 25 photos, 25 shoots. I need to get off my lazy butt and create.

5. Plan out shoots more often instead of coming up with something as I walk up to the shoot.

6. Learn more.

7. Dream more.

8. Create more.

    These are in no particular order, and they honestly won't make much sense to anyone but me, but this blog really isn't for anyone but me, so I'll be selfish tonight. I'm going to finally lay down, finish my tea, and maybe, just maybe, I'll finally get some sleep.

My Two Favorite Locals

     I met this random kid named Justin and his boyfriend, and they've pretty much changed my life.
   
     One night a few weeks after I met Justin, I was sitting at SIUE on Photoshop for the first time. I won't go into the details, as I want to save that for a later post, but I was completely at a loss. Granted, I was trying to levitate a girl as my first conceptual post, let alone my first time on Photoshop at all, but still. I didn't even know what a layer was (if you know photoshop, you'll get that joke). I messaged Justin, and he was so sweet about it! He told me that I should check out tutorials on YouTube, and just keep trying. I did keep trying and finished the photo. Maybe you'll see the post at a later date. But the thing is, I could've given up, and Justin helped me keep going.

    Okay. No more of the mushy stuff. Fast forward to now. I actually met this Justin person through The Wild Ones (blog post on that later, too), and am proud to call him my friend. He's still one of the best photographers I know, and he's going to become HUGE. But, Justin doesn't come alone. He has Leighton, and oh, how I love Leighton.

     Leighton has just started working his way into the world of conceptual photography as well, and I'm so proud of how far he has come. I've actually shot more times with Leighton than I have Justin, now that I think of it. Leighton is that kind person that will joke with you until you cheer up, and is just so funny. You might think I hate him after making him get into a Lake with huge biting fish and snakes, almost lit his fingers on fire, and made him run through huge spider nests (are those the white spidery homes on the ground?), but I don't! I swear! We just get a bit too adventurous and inspired with our ideas.

     These two boys were out at my house to shoot, and the sun was perfect where we were, so I made them model for me. Okay, maybe "made" is the wrong word. I asked nicely, and they were all for it. I love having friends who work both in front and behind the camera. Here's a few photos I got from that spur of the moment shoot:

  It's funny. I'm still not sure how I got so lucky that one night to find Justin's photography page, or why in the world I thought I could send him a friend request. But I did, and I'm so glad that I did. Let's be honest, I'd still be a pretty horrible photographer without Justin. Thanks, guys. <3

The Day I Met My Best Friend...

     Well, I talked about one of them, so I MUST talk about the other... Everyone, meet Dale! He's basically my Canadian other half.

      I met this little one over YouTube. Yeah, yeah. I have a youtube channel... I'm one of "Those Kids." Anyways,  I really started caring about YouTube after I went to Playlist Live in March and started to find other YouTubers to collab with and get inspired by. Somehow -Dale and I still cannot remember- we found each other, and as they say, the rest was history.

     Dale and I became close friends quickly. I don't think I've had someone in my life quite like Dale, and I couldn't be happier. He's so kind and caring, and usually knows just what to say when you're upset. I think one of the best (and funniest) things Dale's ever done for me is calming me down after I had a breakdown when the hairdresser gave me 90's style highlights. It was horrible then, but looking back, it's kinda funny. I knew he was my best friend when there way no one else I wanted to talk to then but him. There's been a lot of moments like that since, and yet, every time he's still there for me. I'm so lucky.

     Now, this friendship is not one sided. I like to think I've helped Dale bunches after a really hard break up a few months back. It's so hard to see someone you care so much about hurt, and be 1,000 miles away with no way to comfort them. We made it work, but then something amazing happened.

     Most people wouldn't find the idea of of driving 10 hours in a car with air conditioning that decided to quit working around hour 5 that appealing of an experience, but I'm not most people. I was offered the job of taking an old friend's wedding photos in Michigan, and hopped on the chance to go North. Not only to take their wonderful photos, but also because I would be an hour from the border of Canada. Where. Dale. Lives.

     I told him the great news and he was more than willing to drive the 4 hours across country to see me. What kind of person does that!? Well, I guess a best friend does...

     Besides being crazy busy because of the wedding on Saturday, I had one of the best weekends of my life with this one. Austen came with to shoot the wedding and keep me awake while I drove 10 hours each way. It was great to have both of my best friends together at the same time, and I cannot wait to see Dale again in February. We have a trip to Florida planned with all our YouTube friends and it's going to be even better than Michigan! If that's even possible!

     But, on to the part most of you are here for! After meeting with the beautiful couple on Friday night, we managed to capture the last few moments of sunlight and have a quick shoot. Dale and I had always talked about shooting together, and it was surreal to be able to do it! We only had about 10 minutes of light left, but I think we made the most of it!

      I captured a few lovely head shots:

  And then, we both agreed that a conceptual shoot HAD to happen... With like 2 minutes of light left and no tripod... BUT IT WORKED! Somehow. Thank God.

     This piece is entitled, "Only You Can Pick Yourself Up"

     So, Dale? Thanks for being one of the best friends a girl could have. I love you lots, and cannot wait to see what we can create in Florida! 

     To Everyone else, thank you so much for stopping by and feel free to share this post around with your friends. It would mean a lot. 

     This photo can also be found on Flickr:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/114887606@N05/15261645425/

      If interested in booking a session, my you can contact me on Facebook or my website:

facebook.com/abbigailspeiserphotography 

aspeiserphotography.squarespace.com 

I really love you guys a lot. More about that later... 

- AbbieMaybe 

xoxo

Best Friend Apprecation

     Today was a lovely day. Most would say it was because of the clear blue skies, or the fact I had a yummy picnic and a walk. Others might say it's because I had on a cute outfit, or because it was the perfect temperature. While all of those things are true and great, that's not why I had a wonderful day. Today was lovely because I got to spend it with my best friend.
     So, I thought, what a better way to start off this blog than to make it dedicated to him. Thanks for making me who I am today and making me face all my fears. You're the reason I'm me.